Shiawase no Hibi(?!)

Win. Roughly two days of hard work. Facing about four dead end endings and Ciel-sensei’s teachings. Arc <3!!!! @.@ More importantly Tsukihime <3

Now I forgotted about the whole world and real life. Time to wake up now T.T 

Today we had the HSDance. Yay. I was actually planning with pratik to make someone go with me (:P), but I decided it’d be better if not. Because.. uh.. I actually dont know why. Just no. So anyways I had a biiiig let down before the event.

Uh first, no Happy Feet watching with a-q, since lack of time. Second, Pratik, Jan, and Raf all cannot go. And that’s about the people who I can talk to comfortable the most. Oh, and not to mention, Tsukihime hooked me to play it 32948702891 hours a day. @.@ Well I still went, since I did say to Jay that we’d meet and told Lina I’d go, though not any of them are promises, well I just had to go. I didn’t forgot the fact that for some reason, this year’s CT batch ALWAYS seems to be together in any event. Last concert, everyone was together mostly. Ah well, it was boring. I wanted to dance but I didn’t have someone to go on with. I mean, someone I could dance with since I dont want to do so alone. -.- <.< @.@ The whole night, Irvin was wondering around the school, drank 5 cups of coffee or so, me roaming around with various CT people, standing most of the time, blah blah blah. Boring Oh well, it was fun though. Yes it was boringly fun. I really just have a fun time of hanging around, probably that’s why. Although playing Tsukihime is tons better, sometimes, relaxing with friends is better.

On the way home, I was picked up by my uncle. And ranted about HS Life and so. He stated something like, HS Life is the best time of your life ever. And I agree wholeheartedly, that’s why I motivate myself to always do stuffs this time of year. Why? Let’s see, when you’re younger, what’s fun to you? You were so childish to actually know whats fun, and you probably have forgotten what ever happened all before HS Life. After HS is College Life, then Working Life. Tell me, whats fun there? Most of the time, your friends are temporary, most of your time is consumed by work and study. So thats why HS is the best. And I should have 34058239405 fun with it. It really just bothers me when I graduate, on how I really want to go back to these days, oh well, it’s still a year and a half before the time I leave school. Though it seems so long, it’ll all seem short in the end. Thats why I should not waste a moment, and have fun now, leave precious memories for my future. For I will always remember all this times I had, I should never forget. I hope when I die and go to whereever, there’s a high-tech TV there that lets you see the real past. Sure, watching Rome war with the Gauls is fun. But even funner is watching yourself lazing around on assignments, shying with girls, being angry for someone being an idiot, being an idiot yourself, feeling moe to someone, and so on. That would be soooo fun, I really wish that’d come true. I’d flood the heaven/hell of tears when I get that wish. Oh, and I hope that the tv also has anime XP

A year and a half to go. Help me to make all of the days remaining valuable and meaningful. Memories is the only thing I could bring afterdeath, and thus I want to cherish this memories forever. When I could no longer create memories, I’d love to see myself back in the old days. So. I must push forward. Memories are valuable, this is an exemptionally rare item. I must get it at all costs, before my time ends. Waaa emo =P 

Ah I dont know. I feel like ranting. And eating. I hadn’t ate anything in the dance. So yeah. Byes~!

Oh by the way, I reaaaaly feel like taking pictures of myself now. Though not in the way Jay does and pictures 04893524507245869 of himself everyday, but you get the point. I’m on the road! Well, after taking my first pic with my new phone, I went home and pic-ed me 2354398 times when no ones around >.< Oh noo! But in the end, I really am just not handsome, cute or whatever, not suitable for photos, not photogenic. -.- v.v Ah well. Nothing can do now. =P 

School Days anime next year too~! Omochikaeri~!

RAWR! Thanks to yesterday’s hell, I feel 23940128947592% more confident and like uber 1337-er.

Yesterday was a party for my Dad. In the mountains. Crap. That’s boring. But then, a lot of reminici-something happened, from the past. I recalled lots of things >.< And gave me strength to go on. And in teh end, Dad said some stuffs that reallllly made my day and like make me go beyond godlike. Like LETS GO PWN THEM111

So what? I decided this. I am just soooo gonna talk to her. That simple. I mean, since I dont know my feelings yet, I’m not actually offending Jei-kun in anyway, since I don’t have any plans of getting his you knows what. But what if I find out I actually do like her? WHO CARES?! Let me decide when I actually get to know that! LET’S GO FIGHT!

Yesterday was sooooooo scripted. Like I said I was uber bored and texted couple of people. And then I got like in a motorcycle ride around town for an hour 0.0 So still bored? HECK NO! And like yesterday I made of a plan on how to face her the next time I see her. I remeber I had this plan after the interaction, I’ll text her after the week, and as if she still remembers me. But I cutted this plan out, since she already texted me that night. Now I’m reving the plan again, since she probably didn’t changed my name in YM, so it’s still a good plan~! Talk about scriptednessss~!

I’m not going indepth anymore about yesterday. Although I want to, I dont also want too. 0.0 Rawr! Makenaiwai desuwayo~!

I seriously have no idea now. Damn. Dang. Wtf. I hate this feeling. Dang. Damn.

Nowadays, I seriously think there’s something going on, or atleast gonna go on between Jay and Crissel. Not that I care, but my heart does @.@ I dont know!? What the heck am I feeling? There’s like this jealously but then why? I don’t actually like (uh. not friendly like but love-like) her, but  still. I feel… Jealous? W.T.F.?

Each day I like see some testi saying stuffs about them, and what, my heart like gets heavy all of the sudden. And like I feel like fighting with Jay, though not really at all, yet still I do. @.@ I DONT GET ANYTHING I’M SAYING NOR DOING!!!! Honto ni Shiranai~!!!!

Like earlier today, I was teasing him about January. And he like completed the whole sentence, meaning? There’s that i’m-gathering-info-mode going on with him, or is this how everyone like, since I dont like memorizing B-days at all. (i dont even know exact date for my family’s bday -.-)  So like I teased him and eventually we both got (fake) angry at each other -.- And like I continued that after lunch, i like ignored him. Though I dont know why @.@ I didn’t want to and wanted to have the same fun afternoons, but then I still wanted to hate him because so. @.@ This way I’ll truly die >.<

And like. What a coincidence? Current tabs in Firefox-ko: DotaPortal.com|Portal to ultimate DotA All…. Friendster - -’JAY’-’s Photos  Friendster - Crissel  Shiawase no Hibi(?!) > Create New Po…

I like get a feeling somethings in connection here >.< Like how I use DotA to evade everything between the two people there, and how this blog is soooo right with the ?!s, happy days huh? >.< I dont even get what i’m saying now. I’m on the verge of insanity lolololol. Not really. LMFAO!

I dont know @.@ At this rate, what Lesava and I planned will most likely not continue because my heart liek soooo wierd. Dang. And because of this I dont think i’ll give out a link for this blogs to just anyone >.< DAAAAAAAAAAAANG. 

Rawrrawrrawr I smell jealousy. But what jealousy, if I dont actually like her? Or do I not? Ofcourse I dont. Because I haven’t known her well. Atleast what my brain said. But heart says nothing but beat badly when I see anything related to the two, especially when the two is like one. @.@ Uguu~!

Oh yeah, and like earlier today, I kinda said to Jay my thoughts (though not directly) I just said some cheesy stuff about how i still not hated him even though his actions hurt me, or something like that. But still. If that’s Jay’s Shiawase, and if I’m a real friend I should let it all go right? But. But. DANG I NEED A DOCTOR, I WILL TAKE OF MY HEART LIEK NAW! Too bad I’m only e-moe-inside, huh? If everyone knows, I’m liek dead right now. Oh the agony.

Like what I said teh other post, I should’nt let this happen like in Higurashi, like in the past. So what’s the right thing to do then? I don’t know. Heck, I remember Asumin’s route, i’m like Tomoe here. When Yusuke loves Asumin, where Tomoe is like loves Yusuke but unfortunately you know what. OH NOES TRIANGLES! And like, how Asumin and Tomoe got angry at each other in the end, Asumin saying how come you’re not saying how you really feel, i’m your beeest friend afterall, and Tomoe saying how she was her beeest friend and she couldn’t tell. THIS IS SOOO DARN CONFUSING. So since I’m taking Tomoe’s role, what the heck do I do?! Since Asumin got angry about me not telling, so should I say JAY SHE’S MINE (EVEN THOUGH I DONT REALLY THINK SO) or like leave things be and hurt myself..? MASS UGUU-AGE! @.@ @.@ @.@ Should I like, let Jay read this like what I did to Mod and the others, and to Gian in the future so they’ll know what I cant say out in the real life? Or not? What? What would be the reaction of Jay? I guess that’s what we support-bestfriend-roles always think, huh. Well actually I’m not in anyway Jay’s bestfriend, but I see him as one though. Changes anything? I dont know @.@ @.@

*smashes head to keyboard* DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG. I’m so WTF-mode. I dont get anything now. Can I get like a time machine and force myself to get injured during the time I was going to school in the morning of the interaction? Now lets see what would happen. No UBAR TRIANGLES!!!! No weird heart thumping. NO TOKEN, LETS SEE HOW CT LIVES WITHOUT ME, EAT THAT RANK 5 AND ABOVE PEOPLE WHO DOES NOTHING BUT LAZE AROUND WHILE THE LOWER RANKED, RANK 6 DOES EVERYTHING. No…fun? No moe mode? No lets-hate-jay-mode? -.- So what would I prefer? I DON’T KNOW. @.@ @.@ I am so like dont know anymore.

Oh, and I myself think its too late to do anything now. I mean, like not chat w your partner more than once, not text her or anything. Ignore her the whole 1 week, and now nearing 2 weeks. Like, I just saw something about gammy and 100php-candies stuff. I mean, that left an impact through like communicating which I didnt do, liek wtf stupid feelings, because of feelings, then my feelings actually destroyed feelings like Wtf?! I DONT KNOW111111111111111111  

Crap. I want to go e-moe-mode like everyone does. Meaning spread e-moe-mode like everywhere, profile, status. LIEK OH NOES1 -.- Now I know why they emo-mode and spread it. They like want everyone to hear and stuff. Rawr. Ah anyway. I’ll just laugh at this post when I’m 21 yrs old. Probably I’d give Jay and Crissel the link at that time too, and do a big LOL-party. Rawr! =.=

I like want to write excessively more repeating stuffs. My heart keeps thumping and being heavy, I want to like write more, but then like I dont want to waste space here, like this is already a waste of your time. But like my hand wants to write my feelings more. i DONT KNOWS! Darn.

Oh yeah, I had this imba plan the other day, where I like asked Jan, James, and Lina ALL a question, involving the events above. Like, I’d agree with Jan, and prolly a bit on Lina. But still, why did I ask Lina and James, lawl like they’re uber close to me as Jan is. I dont know 0.0 But I did one of those hidden question thing. Like I asked what would i do if i were to do my last testi ever for anyperson. Lina like said express true feelings and stuff. Jan said a lot of stuff. James said a lot of stuff that i just said. As usual. Oh wells. Wait. Express true feeling? HOW..? I dont even know what are they =.= Craps! I now remember General Ackbar saying ITS A TRAP1111 >.< So was all of that a TRAP!!11? Crap. Anyways, I was like suppose to make something special, i’m now doing special testimonials rather than boring text ones or copy-paste ones. Like creating my own graphics and stuff. I just did Jay that nyoron one, and finished Melvin’s date with Aubrey Miles pic as a testi. I was like making this so I could just make an excuse when I do Crissel’s 1337 flash one. But then. Now. I think i’m discouraged to do anymore =.= I dont know. Liek, i dont even know what to put. I dont even know what to say. I like, dont know anything now. I like need more people to consult on this. Like more not-wise-people-again like pratik and jan. But hey, atleast I got that shoulder to cry on when I need it rather than nothing huh? @.@ I dont know >.<

I certainly lost my music now huh? And to think the other day i said i was re-awaken, my old chatting-style which was playboy-ish (..it was?) well atleast it was really those fun days when i did 3-hour chatting and liek no boredom as I was leading the chattign >.< Which I like dropped the skill the year after that, and now when I thought i could do it, I did when I chatted with Thea the other night but then. Now. Now? Yesterday she was there. Busy. As usual. Jan said dont interupt when busy. So i like waited. And then. She has the status. OMG HAPPY STATUS!!! LIEK NOW IS THE TIME111 But no. I still didn’t..! I thought I was awake? Oh well, next time I said. And that next time was like now. But then i forgot they had this concert. I was sooooooo saying i should takl to her today. But liek, especially after everything i stated here now, i dont know if i still should.

Since I wanted to cure myself, I re-awakened and want to test my awakened state. So like what’s wrong? Well it’s because Jay is involved, hey what would happen if I finally knew my heart and say I like her for real? TRIANGLES OH NO! Even if Jay did let me say hi and stuff, what if in the end, that happens? So it’s like precaution huh? I dont think he’s the Asumin type anyway, especially since i’m not anyone close to him. I’m also thinking of creating another account and like send tips to him. But that’d be weird >.< But hey, it could work, i mean work that he’ll get what i’m thinking about. Hah. I’m miserable =.= I’m making their lives harder, huh. But then, I got both reasons why i cant do anything nor i cant do what i want to do. It’s because, in the end, my mind and heart are not united. They think separately. And it’s like two bodies in one shirt, you’ll just tear up yourself if you dont unite them and go the same way. And that’s like what’s happening now. Wow I amaze my logic >.< Now I just need to unite them but how? Thats the problem again, which the solution i think is to get to know crissel moar, so that i’ll know what i really feel, mind would know what heart feels. But then. Mind says that it’d be rude, since a friend i really like(uh closeness. funness. you get the point, no H-stuffs for now plz) is like liking her. or something. So in the end, either I do something, or they do something like tell me nothings really happening and I may like relax already. Dang it. Oh yeah, I sooooooo want to post this to DP’s UAA section, but too bad Melvin knows me already there. DANG IM AN IDioT! Create new and what? Craete suspicion that my 1st post is love lol? And what if melvin actually sees a relation between mysterious man and me? OMFG1111. I dont know!

I am the bone of my will

My mind is my body, my heart is my blood

I have been thinking over a thousand times

Not known to you

Nor known to anyone

Have withstood pain to help my closest ones

Yet, this hands will never recieve anything

And so, as I pray, UNLIMITED EMO-WORKS!

I’ll leave you that Unlimited Blade Works spin-off for now. Actually explains a bit of my feelings, eh? Hah. I Lost my Music, I really dont know my Honto no Kimochi, yet I always think about how my First Kiss would be. In the end, only God Knows. @.@ Italic-ed are my songs of the, liek eversince that fated day. Running over and over me @.@ Dang.

Tsukihime just finished. All I have to do now is install it and… wait. IT’S 11:30PM AND THERE’S SCHOOL TOMORROW AND I AM LIKE OUT OF TOWN AT WEEKEND. Dang. Nice going, hmf.

I wont lose to you! Dang. Competition is getting hot in Shop. Everyone’s suddenly being smart =.= But still. Makenaiwa Desu~!!! And when I thought it’d be actually easier for me, it actually got easier for everyone. Uguu~… Dang >.<

Since everyone is so great, why the heck do I have to do Shop-related stuffs that DOESN’T AFFECT MY GRADE? Uh, lets see, SSC Token, Mass Flash Presentation, to name recent stuffs. And liek, where the heck are those top 5?! Aren’t they supposed to be doing this, instead of the rank 6, since they’re actually a damn better? SCREW YOU ALL, I AM MORE PATIENT AND LIEK DOING MORE AND YOU ALL LIEK ARE SO GAY11111 Really though. Seriously. Dang that’s gay.

Gambare, Rika-chama! is what I wanna hear =.= Too bad no actually does though. Oh well. MAKENAIWAI DESUWAYO~!!

Just opened one of those Bulletins you normally see on friendster. And it’s a chain. AND IT’S IMBALANCELY ACCURATE. *copy paste*

1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.
2. Next to the NUMBERS 1 & 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.
3. Next to the NUMBERS 3 & 7, WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.
4. WRITE ANYONES NAME next to 4, 5, & 6.
5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11
6. Finally, MAKE A WISH

1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE THAT LIKE YOU is found in SPACE 2
2. THE PERSON IN SPACE 3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE
3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7
4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4
5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.
6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR LUCKY STAR
7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3
8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7
9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND
10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU  FEEL ABOUT LIFE
11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR LUCKY NUMBER
 

lmfao. My answers courtesy of notepad which pawns normal papers >.< (plus comments on how true according to teh stuffz above)

1 8   <—- dont cares
2 2   <—- duh no. i can name atleast ten people who’d actually care
3 crissel  <—- aren’t the world of teh imba? well i dont love her but she’s that moekko of nowadays
4 gian  <—- I care the most? OR HATEZORZ THE MOST?! well, perhaps in the end, I do actually care. *prays, gian please grow up and understandzorz -.-*
5 pratik  <—- no doubt. But could place Jan here too ^.^
6 bernardo  <—- a big WTFage. Can’t we just say inaccurate?
7 hazel  <—- no big deal. hardly know her, actually she just texted me earlier today, and thats the first time i’ve talked to her. talk about rofling
8 First Kiss  <—- …. IMBA IMBA IMBA!!!111ONE1
9 God Knows  <—- God Knows why she texted me. Or maybe not.
10 Honto no Kimochi  <—- Yea lol. So what’s my true feelings, huh? Not just for crissel, but just about everything -.-
11 Lost my Music  <—- seriously. Yeah, I sooo lost my music. Perhaps not actual music but significantly something else, huh?

 Told you it’d be imba -.-

2007 Edit: My Lucky Star should be Konata. Since it’s Lucky Star. Right? Okay that doesn’t make sense and isn’t funny <.<

I actually finished this during the sem break >.< But oh wells.

~Is starting Tsukihime, since patch just released the other day.~

Oh, sorry, Hitomi ~StepSister~, your moar H-presence clearly makes you lose to Tsukihime.

Ktnxbyelmao 

A new series, based from a 4koma will start next season. Oh. Wait. DAYM THAT LOOKS HAWT! Just read two chapters and it was so damn good. Like the drawing style, probably why I got into reading that. Oh. Wait. Crap. Too bad the t/l-er of the manga was like will not be doing more. Crap. OH WELL. Guess what? KYO-ANI ANIMATES IT, W00H00!!!1

/end rant