Shiawase no Hibi(?!)

No reason. I felt to post it. A year or so material. Not revised as usual. One of earlier works. W/e.

*Direct Copy from Boards* 

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Author’s Comments
This isn’t a fanfic okay? Nor does it have any relation to DotA. This story has two reasons why it’s made:
1. For a test to me, if i can bring emotions out
2. As there is a message there. Try to decode it after reading!

OH YEAH, Make sure you read in a silent place, as the story hopefully become moody.

PS. I haven’t re-read the story, so I may do a remake when I feel it didn’t brought emotions ^^ Have fun! Or maybe have sad? o_0

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Redemption

Everyday is a normal day. I wake up, finding myself alone, with cold food on the kitchen table. The school bus arrives at the usual time, and the flying papers were thrown to me as everyday it is. In class, I would be on the corner and silently wishing the day would end quickly. The bullies would make fun and humiliate me, obviously envious of my ability to answer almost all questions that the teacher may ask. At break times, I would be alone eating, or sometimes with the bullies eating my food. After school, I would be on the bus on the way home, while the others still throwing me pieces of paper, doing everything to annoy me. All their efforts are wasted, with not even a smirk from me. When I arrive at home, I would be alone as usual. I would then order from a restaurant for my dinner. This was my everyday life.

But living through that, it wasn’t easy. I’ve hid all the pain, after those 15 years. I’ve hid the sadness, the fact of no one around to comfort me, not even my parents were around. My smarts was only wasted, as I didn’t have any motivation to use it. My parents doesn’t seem to care, I didn’t had any friends to play with since my first day at school. Most of my classmates would just annoy me everyday.

I finally decided to end everything. I feared death, not knowing what would be after it. But all these torment, I decided to face death now. After the everyday torment I always felt, I ran to the kitchen, and took out a knife. My mind was still thinking the other way, but after a few minutes of spending my time thinking, I decided to do it. I held the knife near my chest, ready to thrust it in me. I took a long breath, my final breath. I finally pressed on, as I fell down. The pain was rather quick; it really didn’t felt a thing.

I woke up and noticed a cute girl, somewhere probably 14 yrs. old. She had a bright, long and energetic red hair. Her skin was rather bright. The girl went near me, telling me comforting words. "Hey, let’s go! The sanctuary is waiting!" the girl told me. Without any hesitation, the girl pulled my arms, as we ran outside my old house.

"Here we are!" the girl said with a cheerful voice. In front of me, was a rather small house. The girl opened the door and pulled me in. I looked around, and it seemed weird. The house from the outside was rather old and small, while inside was a big house, with very attractive design. I felt excitement in me, something that I’ve never felt.

The girl pulled me to the back of the house. She opened the door, leading me in. Inside was a small field, rather complete including grass. There was a small dog there, and the girl quickly ran towards it. She hugged it, and they played for a while. The girl then, decided to throw a stick, for the dog to fetch. The girl threw the stick with all her might… or too much. She then fell over, due to the high force she used. She fell in a small pool of mud, with the side of there face first. It was rather a funny moment, I couldn’t help laugh, which was the first time I did it, as nothing was funny in my past life.

I stood up, and helped her up, although it seemed that my body was controlling itself, as I didn’t order it to move. The girl, while holding my hand, pulled me into the mud. She gave a laugh and smiled at me. I smiled back at her, although I didn’t know what I looked like when I smiled, as I never did that before. We quickly stood up, and she told me to wait here as she ran inside the house.

She then shouted from the window above, "Hey, come here!" I went inside, figuring out how to go there. As I found her, she wore a beautiful robe. "How does it look?" she asked me. She fitted in the robe very much, I gave out a smile and nodded a bit, signaling that looked good, where I was never asked for my opinion before. "Go ahead!" she then said, while pointing to the nearby door, which leads to the bathroom. Without any hesitation, I decided to take a bath. The girl then went out of the room, probably went down the house.

After that lovely bath, I saw the clothes I used earlier, cleaned. It was rather mysterious, but I decided to find the girl. I saw her downstairs, cooking. "Hey you’re done? Sit there for a while, dinner would be served soon!" she told me. I felt a funny feeling, as it was the first time I felt someone looking out.

She finished cooking, and me ate together. Her cooking was quite good, although I wasn’t sure if it was that good, because I’ve never tasted a fresh and home cooked food. "How did it taste?" she asked me. I thought to myself, that I was rather shy to her, but thinking that she would be with me the rest of eternity, I decided to become more open to her. "It was… rather delicious." I told her. "Thanks!" she told me with another smile.

I was rather tired, "Do you want to take a rest?" the girl said as she noticed me tired. "Ok.." I replied. She took me upstairs again, and pulled me in a room. "Here! Sleep here!" she told me. Inside the room was rather a big and looked comfortable bed, and the usual cabinets and drawers inside a room. Beside the bed was a wooden chair. "Well? Go ahead!" she said to me. I was feeling quite shy, but the girl then pushed me in the bed. "Ok! Since it’s your first night here, you might be feeling alone and frightened. I’ll accompany you till you sleep ok?" She said to me, while sitting down on the nearby chair. I felt another weird feeling inside, due to the fact that someone was caring for me. I chatted to her bit by bit, until I fully became asleep, but I was sure that she was just near.

I woke up, only to find myself on my house, lying down on the kitchen floor. I was wondering, but as soon as I remembered the girl, I quickly looked around the house. She wasn’t anywhere on sight. I went back to the kitchen, and noticed the knife I was going to use. It seemed that I didn’t killed myself, and everything about the girl was a dream. It was about 11:30 PM at that time. I decided to cook food. It was the first time that I actually did it, but it went well. The food I cooked was quite good. I noticed that I cooked quite many. My parents then came home, I offered them the food I cooked, and they seemed to have liked it. For a second there, we were quite close, as I watched them eating, while they were wondering why and chatted a bit with me.

That day was quite weird. I decided to sleep, after I volunteered to wash the dish. The sleep I felt was very relaxing, for the first time. The next day, I woke up early, even my parents weren’t still awake. I decided to make breakfast for everyone. My parents then appreciated me again. I felt really happy inside, knowing that I still have worth.

While on the way to school, no one seemed to have annoyed me. I arrived at school, but everything was weird. No one wanted to bully me there. I participated more, and decided to listen more to the lessons. It was already break time; time went fast as I didn’t felt it. During break time, I saw my bully classmates bullying a small girl. With a sudden beat on my heart, I rushed and told them to stop. They were quite shocked on what I did, and ran. The girl then, pulled my arms, running as she ran around the campus while dragging me. She stopped, as she saw her sister, it was quite fascinating that her sister was a classmate of mine. "I guess, thank you for helping my little sister…" my classmate said to me. ”Hey sis! Is he your friend? He seems to be a good guy!" the little girl said. The girl then, offered her hand for a handshake, which would probably mean that she’s accepting me. I accepted her offer to be friends, as the whole school slowly accepted me.

My life changed from the day I met the red-headed girl from my dream. She made me realize what I was missing. I was missing a role to play; she gave me a role to play. My life went on, never seeing her again. But then, I realized, that she was rather an angel, sent to Redeem me.

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"Please do me." That is what she said. She slowly unbuttoned her clothes in front of me, not a touch of smile on her face. Just… emptiness. Mayumi. Her smooth, white skin. Her silky, dark hair. Her pretty face and her body, all, for me. Is… is this true…? Is this even right…

Her face draws near to mine. My heart beats louder. She slowly closed her eyes, as if waiting for a kiss. A kiss. I need to kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss. Kiss her. But. If I kiss her, will it be alright? Is it alright to do all of this? Are you sure..? I do not understand. An hour ago. Where was I an hour ago…?
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"Ah, crap!" Darn, rain is starting to fall. I just bought my dinner, as unfortunately my parents are out for the night. And just when it’s getting dark, dang. The rain just had to pour down, and I needed to rush back. I dashed towards my house, ah, the rain is really getting stronger.

Finally, stopping infront of our gate, I put my hands into my pocket and… Wait. Ma…Mayu! Mayumi, my classmate at school, what is she doing there, standing all wet infront of our gate? I quickly run up to her.

"Mayu? Hey, you’re gonna get a cold if you keep on staying here. Come, let’s go inside." I quickly open the gate, and pull her in. We find ourselves soaked from the rain, as I asked her to stay put as I get a towel for the both of us.

Wait. Mayumi? Mayu-chan..? Didn’t she… Yes. Definitely. For the last two days, she was missing, along with another classmate of mine, Miu. They were last seen together. But, why is she here now? I thought she was missing… Perhaps… she needs help. Probably. I should try to lighten her up and ask what’s wrong.

I gave Mayu the time to dry up with the towel. But before I could say anything, she quickly asked, showing a little smile. "Yuura-kun, hmm… Where’s your room?"

"A..ah? Mayu?"

"Umm… I just wanted to see Yuura-kun’s room, that’s all. But if you don’t want then…" She replied, gazing down and apparently looking sad. Awww, geez. Fine…

"Alright, if you insist so. Follow me then." I start to walk towards my room, while Mayu slowly follows behind me.

"H..here. Contented now?"

"Yuura-kun’s room sure is messy."

"W..well ofcourse… I wasn’t actually expecting someone to visit me, especially my room. M..mayu-chan? Would it be alright if I asked something about the recent days..?"

"Yuura-kun, no need to ask." She replied, with a sad look on her face.

"How should I explain this…" She began to sat on my bed.

"Well, you see… I have been… hiding."

"Mayu? Why would you hide?"

"L..let’s just say I needed to hide something… Something that I could only talk about to people I could trust…"

"M..mayu, do you mean..?"

"Yes. A…actually, I believe that I could only run to you, Yuura-kun. I… umm… This will feel strange, but I want you to know, that I’ve always… liked you, Yuura." She says this while looking back, obviously not wanting me to see her blushing face.

"A..ah…" I reply as my face flushed in a red color, as I try to look away from Mayu.

"M..mayu… I.."

"Y…yuura-kun. No need to expand longer on that… subject." Mayu finds some time to reform herself.

"You see, I was hiding in the abandoned shed near the Marade Cliff."

"Marade Cliff? Why would you hide anyway, Mayu?" Marade Cliff. The cliff was supposed to be owned by a family called the Marade. A high cliff, with a Shed near at it’s peak. Below? The rapid waves of the sea. It was said that the shed was… used for tool keeping. But as the time went, numerous accidents started to happen there, some people just started to walk to the end of the cliff and commit suicide, and the said family started to abandon the place. As of the current, there appears to be no one from the Marade Family to even have a relation to them. They just all… disappeared strangely.

"… Yuura… W..would I be… able to trust you…?" Mayu said, as she lowered her face, and her voice started to stutter.

"M..mayu!" I grab her into my arms. Definitely. She is in trouble. She hid there the last two days, not even changing her clothes. What did she ate? What did she drank? There must have something big happened. I just cannot leave her alone at this state, especially now as she needs me the most.

"A..ah…"

I slowly released my arms around her.

"Yuura-kun." She said in a low tone.

"Mayu…?"

"Please do me."
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T…this isn’t happening, right? What is she thinking?! But… her body. Her unbuttoned clothes, her exposed chest. I… I cannot hold on. A kiss. She must have missed warmth. The warmth of others. Secluded for two days. S…she needs me.

I kissed her, as she expects it. Ah… Her smooth, soft lips. Mmmm… She touched my hand, and brought it to her breasts. A..ah…
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A…ah…. I slowly sat up. My body hurts. Looking around, it’s… still night time. Or around early in the morning, I suppose. A…ah… I recall last night. About Mayu. I… I… Mayu? Mayu!? Where is she?

I started to look around. I threw the blankets around. No, she wasn’t there. I looked on the bathroom. No, not there. Downstairs? No. Mayu? Where are you?! As I got back to my room, I notice a small paper on top of my desk.

"Y..yuura-kun." My name is scribbled a bit.

"Yuura-kun. I… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Please forgive me. I did not planned to use you. Please forgive me. I… I shall never approach you again. I only used you. Sorry. I’m truly sorry…"

Her name wasn’t even written there. But definitely. Definitely. It was definitely Mayu. … Mayu. Where could…. Ah. Marade Cliff. She said she was hiding there. I… feel strange. I need to go find her now. I get up and quickly changed my… ah… M..mayu left her socks… My face flushed red. N..no more time to think of that… I rush out. I ran as fast as I could. Marade Cliff.

No. She isn’t here. Inside the shed…? I opened the shed. As the shed is already abandoned, it seems to be recently used. Mayu must have used the shed. Definitely. I went in. Everything looks so… clean. Mayu. She cleaned this. Out of nothing to do. Mayu. Where are you…?

And near the bed was a desk. On top of the desk… a… book?

"My Diary~! =P" Mayu. Mayu’s handwriting. It’s definitely hers. I have to look inside. Only now. I need to know what happened. I… Mayu needs me. I… shouldn’t have done last night…. Darn.

I scan through the pages. I find… the last three days ago.

"Meh… Miu once again brags over about her new gadget. Alright already, darn it…"

Miu… Yeah, she was with Mayu when they both disappeared. I flip through the next page… The past two days ago.

"Miu. Miu. She made me do it. She brought a knife. She tempted me to do it. Definitely. I really hate her. But she won this time. She left to destroy my remaining life. I…"

"Calm down… O..okay. Whenever I stop writing here. It would mean I’d already been caught. I… killed Miu. I’ve hated her. She talks too much. She says too much. And most of all, she sticks to me too much. When I just had the courage to say all about it, she brings out a knife. How could have she brought one here… She wildly swings the knife. I’ve ducked in reflex. And brought the knife into her chest. I..it was not on purpose. I… but I really killed her now. She left me disturbing words. That she would haunt me forever. Her death will follow me forever."

"She was… right. Sh…she was always like that… Saying whatever she wanted to say. She never cared if it was rude, if she wants to say it, she’ll just say it. And her words left a mark at me now. It’s true. I doubt everyone will believe I did not kill her. C..currently, I’m at the Marade Shed. I… I threw her body down the cliff. There was no other choice. Else, I would get caught. But… since she always sticks to me, then I would be a primary suspect as to the reason why she’s missing. I.. have to hide."

I turn over to the next page…

"I… dream. It was too much… I… need help. But to who should I run to… Yuura-kun…. Ah… W..will he be okay with me like this…? Yuura. N..no… This isn’t the time to think about him… Although, I really want him to help me the most… But for now, I guess, I’ll have to survive first… I… I’m going out to steal food…"

Yesterday. Early in the afternoon.

"I… Yuura-kun. I definitely need him. I really could trust him. He… He’ll help me… I’m sure of it. I..I’m going to his house later and wait for him…"

"Miu… I realized it only now. Why only now? She… really did said anything she wanted. Despite of that, she still helps me out a lot. She… always protected me. I… I’m sorry Miu. If cared for someone, I’m sorry if it was me… I… I’m sorry Miu…!"

Last written paragraph.

"No… Miu. I killed her. I did not control. I stabbed the knife in her. B..but… Yuura-kun…. I… I provoked him… I… did not control myself. I only used him… No… I… This… This is too much… I’m not worthy to live anymore…! I just use people… I even killed Miu… At the cliff. I will be shortly joining you… Miu."

"…Goodbye. To anyone who finds this. I… this… I’m sorry for the burden. It’s your decision what to do with it."

"But what I want. At least give this to my family. And finally… Apologize to Yuura-kun for me."

I looked below, at the end of the page. Small words are written there.

"Yuura-kun. I really liked you a lot. So please forgive me."

I… I’m speechless. I cannot say anything. All of this. I… Wait. Mayu. I have to go to the Cliff… She might still be there..!

I run of with haste, with all my might and strength. Mayu. I have to see her. No, it’s not your fault Mayu… Please, do not let me be late…

I arrive. Just in time. A split second late would result into a fatal change. I saw her there. Standing. At the edge of the cliff. I call out her name. I quickly run towards her and hug her from behind.

"Y…yuura..kun…" She replied with surprise, yet full of sadness.

"Mayu! No! Do not do this…! Mayu, you have done nothing wrong..!"

"Yuura-kun… Sorry." Mayu replied, eager to move. No, don’t tell me she’s…

"…Mayu, if you’re going to jump, I will jump with you."

Mayu suddenly stopped her movements. "Yuura-kun… Thanks… Sorry…" Mayu stepped forward. Even my force wasn’t enough to hold her back.

Flash. A bright flash of light. As I notice it, I’m holding my left hand, with all my might onto the edge of the cliff. Barely reaching it. Below me, grabbing my right hand. Mayu. Mayu. I was never a good at athletics… I do not know what would happen any longer. My arms are starting to feel pain.

"Yuura-kun… P…please! Save yourself and leave me…"

"M…mayu… Sorry, but I can..not do that… I don’t even have the power to pull even myself only back." I show a smile. An optimistic smile to her. Death is inevitable. But atleast, I could show her a smile. Something she have not even felt for the last few days.

"Yuura… … Thank you…"

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Ah… What is this… Bright, sunlight. Hovering above me, together with the sky and the clouds. So… this is heaven, huh? Mayu… She’ll be here. Definitely.

I slowly sat up. No. This is… Marade Cliff. I was… lying on the ground..? And beside me is… Mayu. Ah… Whatever… Whatever had happened. All of it. It’s a dream now. All of it has passed. Mayu. She’ll wake up soon.

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"Mayu? Are you awake?"

Mayu deeply blushes. "Yuura…kun…?"

"Yes."

"Y…yuura-kun!" Mayu quickly sat up, and pressed me down, hugging me tightly.

"Yuura-kun, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Please forgive me! Yuura-kun…"

"M..mayu… You’re holding… me too…. tight…!"

"A..ah… Sorry Yuura-kun." Mayu lightly releases her hold, but still on top of me.

"Mayu." By reflex. By action. I do not know. I just… felt like it. I kissed her to her lips. I… there was nothing to be said. That would easily say what I want to say to her. No problem. No problem indeed, Mayu.

"Ah…" Mayu got off me as I finished. She turned around, blushing furiously. Even I, still cannot understand what I just did.

"Mayu, I…"

Mayu turned around with a smile. "Yuura-kun, thanks!"

Life. Life continued on forward. Mayu confessed her wrong doings. I helped her to her trials. Whatever happened there, whatever happened on that day, the details are no longer needed. For what the result is, is always better to know than what has happened.

Mayumi. She still cannot forget about Miu. On how she was actually a good friend. We honored her and placed a whatever on near the cliff where her body was missing. Good friend. That was Miu. For whatever she wanted to tell or do, she would do it. And up till the end. Mayu always tells me, on how I loss the grip on the cliff that day. And how Mayu saw a bright light, blinding through the area. And as the light faded away, Miu was there, smiling, omitting the words, "Sorry. Please live on."

Mayu. I could understand her. She acted as everyone would’ve acted. It’s not necessarily her fault. It’s human instinct. Most people would do the same. Even I lacked the control when she went into my room that day. Miu. Her mistake is simply being her. If she could’ve atleast controlled her actions, then everyone would be here right now.

Actions. Everyone acts. And for every action, there will be something as a result. Immediate actions, reflex. Control. Everyone needs to control themselves. Overtime. Slowly, we need to gain control. And as for us, unlucky as we learned to control the hard way. It was indeed an experience. Control. Slowly. Learn to control it. Do not act with haste.

Miu. She’s dead. No doubt about that, but till the end, she was a friend to Mayu. Perhaps lacking on control on her actions, she still desired to be a friend to Mayu. Mayu. Who acted on her reflexes. Doing something not wanted and immediate. She lacked to control her actions in instant times. Me. I lacked control. Despite knowing there was something behind Mayu, I still went to do as she, and my body pleased.

Upto now, we sweared. To control ourselves. To live for Miu. Indeed, we have started to love each other. She liked me already for a long time ago. I only begun to do so now. But, upto now, we still have not seen each other. We sweared that we will meet again.

Till the right time comes, I shall endure to control. Mayumi. Until that day, I will work hard. As I know our work will come off as we are united together again.

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Needs some editing to do but yeah. That’s the overall script. GGed. Oh ya, Happy Valentines~ =P Oddly this fits the day fine~

Atashi no honto no kimochi… Wakaranai… … I don’t know. Once again. Sadness~ Not silly sadness like the one with the same title the other year. But this time, I really feel something empty inside. Ah. The future. A few days from now. I dont know. Bad. Why? Why is this not for me, but is for someone else whos the same as me? No. Actually, I dont want what that wants. That longs for something else. I wish for the best. But. Why is fate cruel on everyone? I, who is the witness, can not do anything. The victim, not knowing anything. And the suspect, still does not notice it’s wrong. Oh. What could I ever do… And, in the upcoming days, we could say it like this. The suspect is to act a plan on the victim. And realizing this as the witness. Still. I can’t do a thing. No, it’s not directly like that. But it’s still the same. I… don’t know. Even with the uproaring previous events. Even if a big treasure was recently dug out. Still. Nothing. Nothing helps. Torment. There’s still many days to go.

Tormenting around. Tormenting in me. Tormenting with me. And conquering my happiness. It devours my joy. Do you feel it? No. Not a soul can. And for that, I am tormented. The torment that inhabits my soul.

Alright enough Leshrac-ripping. But still. Can I act? I want to. But doing so is really fatal. Even if I do the right thing, everything will change. If I do the wrong thing, everything will change. Fatal change. It’s no longer about the witness, suspect, and the victim. As I call out the crime, then the whole world will revolve through the three people. Is that why I cannot act? Perhaps. No, probably, indeed. That is why no one must know. And I must act alone. But still. What can I do alone to help? What can I do alone that no one else will know? No. I simply cannot just eliminate the suspect. Because simply I cannot do that, atleast directly. But, indirectly? No. I still lack the skills to do so. And the bonds of fate are strong with the two. That’s the main wrong in everything.

Hah. I dont know. Problems. Problems. I’m full of them. Indeed. Run? No. I do not think of that. But if there’s one thing I want to do. It’s fixing them. But, why are the problems given to me not-fixable? Unless I do something big? Unfair. Unfair indeed. What happened to choice, if there was no valid choice in the end? Flaw. The biggest flaw of the world indeed. Unfair is fair. But, freedom given but no valid choices? Then the world shall fail. Actually, it already is falling. Perhaps. Soon. Death.

Break. Break. I don’t know. Write more? Don’t know. One thing I know, honto no kimochi is indeed the best song ever. Explains about me everytime. Gotta love it~

A spreading plague. An important rope lost underneath the well. Strings that bonds two objects are left improperly cutted. An impending eruption of a volcano. A useless cat as the only witness to a crime. Problems, problems, all I could do is laugh.

 And that is based on real stuffs. Symbolisim ftw~! Incorrect spellings ftw~!

Hau~ When’s that saving grace coming?