Shiawase no Hibi(?!)

Weeell~ So apparently I was thinking for a long time for this. I guess it’s finally on, something I just thought of, well. Just. Now. Yar. So project 12 Days will be a spin off from the, well you guessed it! 12 Days of Christmas song, though with much epic ness. Don’t know. In this season of sharing. 12 people. Important friends. *bgm*

So I thought, 12 specific gifts would be nice and a little loooong posts. In the spirit of sharing, not only will be gifts be shared but also truths of the heart? Etc. :O Now that I think of it though…… Ah well, it’s a good idea though just epically embarrassing.

But the other embarrassing half would be… the revelation of Shiawase no Hibi. Especially to those in Personal sections :O ALL WILL BE REVEALEDDDDD! Sigh. You’re doomed like a Lvl4-Doom -ed Leshrac. Or something.

Well, as stated, will be planning to find the gift for the right person, etc etc such as the one in the other post some other day. And the loooong lettur will apparently be also used for enhancing the pro-VN skillz, which I desperately need to do for the other project that’s been soooo long overdue. Overall, FAITO!

Ah well. Project 12 Days commence!

The. What the? Sigh.

As time flies, all is bound to change. I guess, this year is all about transition to what is coming towards us. Sigh, Shiawase no Hibi’s time is doomed to end. Still. Some points to ponder;

Did Shiawase no Hibi did what is as expected of it? Partly - yeah. The memories here, of these happy days are sealed here. No doubt about that - for whatever truths, lies, feelings that have passed - they’re all here. Well. Maybe not all. But, another part wasn’t fulfilled.

The truth the the happy days? I’ve been screaming moe here, moe there. But as the end of Shiawase no Hibi goes, so do moe. Change. As the first real line says, everything is bound to change. Still, it is of a wonder. Why, why. Why would something change for the worst? Despite everything I’ve tried to do, despite all my pleads.

I’ve been hoping. Hoping all time. Praying. Yet, the real lesson here. Something which I already told myself in the past. ‘Praying? Fine. But make sure you do some work or nothing will ever happen.’ Yet. In this situation, in a situation of risking everything. Risking my Shiawase no Hibi. Is it acceptable..?

…my answer now? No. For what I have said is true. Doing nothing will result nothing. Praying for a miracle, then do something to help the miracle to come true, wherein in the end, the miracle will happen. If that is true, then whatever happened to faithfulness? Logic and spirituality collides. It makes me confused very much.

If people did receive miracles - then they must have earned it? I guess I didn’t. For whatever promises I did, I still broke them. Yet, logic still continues, - isn’t God all forgiving? Then no, that’s a failure. In the first place, they received miracles because they succeeded in their promises. It’s not talking of sin and lies. Yet still - that isn’t the point.

Let us say, sure. It’d make me happy. Yet, that would not be the real intention, that is just a side-effect. The real intent would be for the common good. Whatever, however I think of it. Surely, this is the common good. Yet. Despite this, is that… still enough?

Thinking back, heroes who had good goals only succeeded because they did something. Then. Thinking of it now - it was of my own failure? Then my logic of belief in the Lord. I guess it was flawed at that time. Sigh. So I guess, this is what they say that we learn lessons in life. Reflection - it does best.

Speaking of reflection and it’s importance. I would like to cherish. All those times, all those moments. As with the same with the whole concept of Shiawase no Hibi. No longer can this miracle be attained. Yet. I would like to keep what I had, forever.

I can still think - if I only did something. Even just a little thing back then. I realized it now - I regret doing nothing. If I only did that. Despite not being in the position to do so. Still. If it was possible…

—

Thinking onwards - did I reflect correctly? If so, then. Would it still be… possible? For such a miracle to happen, one must act. Then surely, since there is still time. Would it still be? Even if all hope is just as good as lost. Still. I must persist. I must fight on. No matter what.

…yet. I cannot think of anything decently. Obviously, one’s mind would be full of vengeance - something which is largely impractical and immoral at the same time. Well. Let us just see…

Another problem is that - I could not afford anytime dwelling on the ‘Project’ any longer. Despite that I am having a good time with it, I fear it would come to late. …yet thinking. It was same with Rizal, isn’t it? Then as taking him for my idol, then it should work out. If all else fails, there is still the project. Too late to prevent it, but it can still be repaired and rebuilt - all too similar as what once the country was.

—

As a lesser serious part, I know understand how tsundere characters feel. Although it might seem silly but… as a note, I am slowly showing of tsundere vibes. Which I myself feel. But. Despite tsundere being moe and all - what about the others? Sigh. And yet I still couldn’t remove that tsundere-ness. I guess it really has to be this way too huh? ^^;;;

Ah, still. Massugo Gaoo~! Still go forward as ever. For whatever time remains. For any future is a future - I’d be glad to be on it.

This is it, I guess, for now. Mm, alright.

Shiawase no Hibi mark. Notice plx! <3 Day much. :3

Hah. There’s been much changes since. Last time. I don’t know.

Let’s start it off with DotA. I’ve been recently ‘drafted’ into team KAGED - Ken/Andrew/Gian/Eric/Dacs team, the 4th year powerhouse containing what we can call, best of the best. Although there are some members I can debate about being worthy in it, I’ll just give them the benefit of doubt. For now, I’m having an okay time with them, although hopefully, they’ll slowly open up for me and I could put in a good strat and gameplay changes, such as the early pushing matter. The other day, may be the final day as a CT; where I ka-chinged 100 from team KAGED with Marc. There’s really just something lacking in team CT, whether they’re not just really used to 5v5, or they just insta-flail, I don’t know. All I know is, there’s more future in KAGED, so yeah. Not that I’m leaving CT, but you know. You won’t expect a CT vs KAGED anytime soon.

‘Sides I’ve slowly telling them Jungling/Bottle strats, it won’t be long that I can show them hefty hawt league strats and all. But as a normal friends, I don’t think I could stand it without changing :3 So long live CT for that, for that is something I am blessed with them :/

Also, whether it was because of the CT vs ET/KAGED match, much people starting to DotA again, Jerrick getting a hold of Lanaya, Mico playing again even though he had his ‘last’ game during the retreat, well, that’s that.

Moving on from DotA; I don’t know. I’ve been too friendly with Irvin lately :3 Not that it’s a bad thing but you know. Not only me, but people around me too, people who I knew was against each other, it’s quite a good feeling we’re on a same level now, although there might be a place where it’s not right, atleast it’s more even now than ever. All I can say is, it’s something refreshing. Haah~

On to that, question. Is Gian really that stubborn :/ Seriously, Hare Hare Yukai is seriously overrated, or he/they has nothing else to poke upon. Either way I can see he’s completely dumbfounded, not even remembering about what happened a year ago, although there’s less, I still feel that odd streak of anger. But seriously, stop overrating that song. Oh, and is it just me, but I do kinda noticed that he’s on purposely letting me hear it. Like, Domeng and I was going to buy Icetea while before that they scream Hare Hare Yukai, so I seriously want to go and take a breather. Going back, there’s another song, but what. He screams to repeat that Hare Hare Yukai again. Seriously, someone’s either on purpose or completely an idiot :/

Bleh~ But moving on that. I’ve found my new Lucky Star~ For those who still does not know of it; dunno. I’m quite moved on nowadays with Lucky Star. Not just the show, but it’s quickly becoming a symbol for me. I’ve been putting it in every freaking thing, from activities, to the retreat activities. A ‘Lucky Star’ is there :3 But moving on that;

SchoolMate eroge rocks hard. Not the ero part, but everything else of it is simply amazing. It’s the first 3d Anime Game I’ve ever played so go easy on me, but I have to say, it’s quite a really different experience from normal Tsukihime/Yume Miru/etc. There’s that liveliness on the character, and how absolutely it made me go KAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIII~ mode much. Not only that, but the SchoolMate Photo is another thing in the bargain. It’s something a photographer-but-not can only dream off :3 It’s something made off hawt and win much. Story-wise, I don’t really know since I don’t understand. The thing I hate though, is that it’s really an eroge, especially the aftermath which most people goes for where in you could just do that over and over again in a lot of styles. Another thing to point is; breasts. Seriously, out of the 5 heroines, only my Lucky Star has ‘normal’ sized breast. Everyone else either seems like they came from some BB-themed Doujinshi or one of those obscenely-huge-breasted-but-normal ones :/ Either way they’re still hawt, but I much prefer cuteness anytime pl0x.

Speaking on Eroge, from all this time, Kagetsu Tohya has been completely released, although they’re still doing the usual update routine, it’s good that something I saw… 6 months ago? From an anon in 4chan (was it?) became to a real full project. Much thanks to the team, as for now, I’m wandering about that ‘a day’ scenario :3

But most of all, change. All of these are changes. Yet, there’s something on me I want to change. All these months, you know already, change change change. Yet I cannot. I haven’t found my Lucky Star. But now, I feel something from Natsume-san, and all of these awesome photos of her I’ve been doing :3 But yeah, inspiration doesn’t really mean anything if I don’t work. So I’m kinda trying to do something to fill everything in me with pure Natsume love :3 And yeah, moeism forever~

Looking on to the future. Haah~ A quarter is almost ending… 3 to go…

Hah~ There’s an awful lot of waiting for a first day. Not that it’s new.

There’s something different this year. Apparently, my home room teacher and english teacher are the same from my 2nd year. So it’s like something weird where remember 2 years ago then add the year ago then equals to this year. Or something. Hah~ Anyway, 2nd year reminds me of bad stuff <.< But mm~ I guess it’ll be fun.

Some teachers are out, I guess. Some where hoping that teacher X be our teacher for Y. And stuff. And it seems we don’t have a Music teacher =( Oh, we still have not schedule too. G_G

Overall this day, pretty much sums to nothing. Except the orientation for college on the last period, we did nothing after recess, did nothing on shop nor on english. Hah~ Mm, about college. Hah. Seriously, I really can’t imagine this being my last year. It’s something different, since you get to be classmates with everyone again. It’s different, since you’ll get to know more and more. It’s different, since you have to say goodbye in the end of the year. Hopefully, everyone will be productive; and not spend a moment idle in this whole year. Not idle for projects nor time for bonding. One year is too short for me… To think there would be no more of that active and loud Jarvin in class, to the highly ‘protected’ silent Lina, to the annoying loudmouth Irvin, to the cool, best support and host np, but outside kinda-cold Migz. Seriously. It isn’t as it was in Grade School. Recalling now, the guy I called bestfriend… I really didn’t know much about him despite knowing him for 5 years or so. So there’s really something different if it’s highschool huh?

Hah~ But time must go on. So, whatever they may all do this year; one thing for sure. I’m gonna cherish this remaining months with all of my friends, CT and non-CT. I’ll try to get active and have fun; not just sit with Shiro-chan during allllllllll lunch. Not to mention actively fight for the rankings in both Aca and Tech. So I might just say; maybe 5 years from now. I probably had the best days this year. Hah~ Best days, happiest days, productive days and all. Despite knowing the fact in the end it goes bye bye; why not use all your time so you won’t regret how little you did before saying bye bye?

As for the future; I’m not even sure if I’ll end up with people I know. For sure, if I get to really go to UP, I’m not sure if I’ll have a classmate from now in there. I mean, it has a hiiiigh standard, and have to be also taking up CS/IT. I think Felipe said he’ll go to UP too, with the same course, but what if not? Hah~ I hate uncertain futures. Well, not just mine, but thinking, how about the others? Thinking on that, since after a year from now on, what will happen to Lina who’s innocence is protected by CT? That’s why I’m against all that crap, let him take the world now, so in the future he can stand by himself; but think think think, I just can’t imagine how he’ll live without CT protecting him or so in the next year. And what about the others who may also be alone? Or, not ‘accepted’ in their places in their new class. Hah, God Bless this batch pl0x, till the very end.

Weellll; so much for that. Moving on, one of the days in summer I thought of Guillermo. He’s a friend from 1st year, heard he got in Auto, but wasn’t really sure. Now I was really wondering what happened to him since I really haven’t seen him or such. Well, not really that we are close or something, but you know. Those random things that just got into you that you wanna know about. Well, today my questions were answered. At recess, saw him and even had eye to eye contact; though in the end, we just GGnore each other. Mm, maybe he doesn’t recognize me anymore, huh? Or maybe he’s like me, you have to act first before he recognizes you. Hah, so much for that. Moving on, later in the day, saw him again. Though I realized he’s wearing a Blue Nametag; suggesting he’s still on 3rd year. Mm, so he failed, maybe eh? Too bad. Well, so much for him.

Finally; I was really in awe today during lunch. While eating, Dasig came and ate beside me and said something out of the blue. “Pare, ganda nung sa blog mo ah, yung Battle Royale” or something within those lines. Hey. WHAT?! No way, does he really mean Shiawase no Hibi?! And how? @.@ Well; I didn’t pushed on with questions but just ended up with a nod. Seriously, change that attitude. But now, let’s think. I don’t really think I’ve posted anything about BR except for this blog. Heck, I don’t even have any other blogs. So maybe he’s one of the people who actually is smart and sometimes randomly searches for his schoolmate’s blog using GG-oogle? @.@ Bbbuuttt, really, I don’t understand @.@ Well; if he did ended up here, hopefully he keeps it a secret. Hah~ Then again if not, I should put the gg-sticky post which says ‘these are my thoughts within the time’ and stuff so people won’t actually kill me when I go to school then they saw something horrid I posted about them about. Like. Irvin. And stuff. Hmm……

Moving on… Jan finally gave me teh case! Zzzz my HD isn’t gonna live past through this day huh? Not to mention my study-athon will too. Hau~

Mm~ That’s pretty much today. I sure awfully write a lot despite saying I’m not in the mood to write eh? Maybe I just really have to start writing and it’ll come eventually. At the same thing, maybe I should start editing that Mind Game ch4 so I’ll finish it eventually. Hah.

Srsly. No more idiot for teammates next year plz. If they want to solo handedly do a project on the last day, fine. Let them. Just make sure they’re not on the same team as me. Because solo-tards suck. Srsly.

W/e. Phun day. Not rly. Chance of rank 1age popped up. But I’m barely hoping now. Since our Shop Project will suck. BECAUSE SOME TARD GOD HELP ME! I like, reminded since the start of the year to work on the project. And up to now, what? Nothing. GOD, WHY IS IT LIKE THIS?! MAKE HIM GO TO ANOTHER GROUP INSTEAD, I’LL LIKE THAT BETTER. STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID. NOW TELL ME HOW THE HELL DO I BEAT THAT TARD 1?! Fing WORLD.

Uh. It was too early <.< So I’ve talked to Johann. Just now. Originally, I planned to talked to him about it in the following days. But he managed to predict it, and I just had to tell all about it. So yeah. W/e. Ultimately in the end? No. But. He did say he was going to talk to me. Tomorrow. @.@

Just what was it? The bloodshed between the two. Hate. Anger. I’m afraid eric’s speech tomorrow cannot live up to illya. Huh. I want to cure it, eh? Whatever. I’ve made most of my points. It’s all up to him now. The only problem is tomorrow. <.< Eric couldn’t bear to talk to him seriously like that. Or to anyone else for that matter. Why can’t I just be Illya in real life? <.< W/e. Let’s just study and pray for the best tomorrow.

And I hope today is a Highly Responsive to Prayers day. Indeed. I don’t want him to leave with memory of me as someone who’s… uh.. pakelamero or something. Srsly. W/e. Hope for the best. Let’s just gao.

Or not. <.<

Happy birthday to my mom and Jei-kun, but Jei-kun doesn’t seem to be happy for god knows what happened early today while I was partying doing projects. <.< So how come Highly Responsive to Prayers? Because my prayers pretty much never get response. Everything. Okay, exaggerating. People are like that. Exaggerating. Not thankful for what they have got, since they didnt got what they wanted. Overpowered by the failure. Meh. Same with me. Despite knowing it. <.< How come? Well in my sake, meh. It’s kinda different. Things I desperately like. They don’t get fulfilled. Not a response in my prayers. Ofcourse I’m thankful for the other things, safety and all. But still.

Yeah. w/e. Many people believe such things. Prayers and all. Effective till they dont get what they want. But seriously. What’s up with that. No. The things I desire isn’t really for me, my happiness, or anything. It’s actually for others <.< And with the powers of god, it’s like sooo easy to do it. What is it. Why is it? Wishes. My two wishes. I. I’ll keep on wishing. I’ll keep on praying. For those two are valuable for me. My wishes are for their better. For their sake. And one day. I know. God really is Highly Responsive to Prayers.

So yea. W/e. Good luck always, I say. So I gave this Penguin figurine to mom that costs p99 only. Rawr! First time I’m buying something for a birthday, and when I mean I’m, I mean me. GG. Oh, Jei-kun’s birthday is also today. He seemed to be enthustiastic (w/e spelling <.<) at it yesterday. Today? Algeb class then GG party. Jolibee treat @.@ For everyone. I hid a bottle of coke XD Afterwards, the DotA boys DotAed, Jei-kun and the others G4ed, I went to play do projects. And for some reason, now Jei-kun is feeling down. A hell lot down. <.< What happened again this time <.<

ZzzzZzzz…. Oh yeah, Jei-kun and Johann are angry to each other for some reason. And its been quite  few months already. Why? Don’t know. But w/e. I’ll try. To make them friends again. Before Johann leaves. It makes me sad to see two people close to me, close to each other, just gg ignore each other. I still remember last year, I showed a joke to Jei-kun and I just had to show Johann the same thing because Jei-kun said so. What was the point of both of them being in the same clubs? <.< Long time friends, if I think so. So. What is it just that thing happened between them? <.< Makes me sad for that reason. Again. A witness. I should act. Atleast this once. Even if I didn’t in the other one. Or probably still haven’t, I have to do here. Atleast try. Yea. Best friends. A long time. For no reason. Hate. Anger. Between them. And in the end. One of them has to go. Yet. They still dont say a word to each other. I’ll try to change that.

And for other news, I thought of a new route for my teh plan. Not to mention Raf is now teh artistorz for my. Uh. Artz. What’s the new route? The whole text above. Or something similar to that. GG.

Oh. I tried my script in action the other day. I jokingly was angry with Jei-kun. The whole day. And he was like begging why and stuff. Result? Next few days GG awkwardness. Haha. So yea. Route is something like that. It all begins with a joke. In the end, one leaves. What will you do? Or something similar. 

Oh. forgot to mention. So bought like this feather-chan which you connect to CPs. But I just get it for I has good plan. I connect it at Jei-kun’s bag! But after I bought it, it was impossible @.@ So I just invented this paper-made bag with moe-characteristics and a moe-ish letter (maybe?) in it. =P And asked raf to sneak it in. And Gian distracted. It was all going smooth till raf was noticed since he took looooong. <.< But thankfully Jei-kun didn’t care. But I know he recieved it as he told me earlier. <.< Now if only he would cheer up. So feather-chan was like. Uh. A purple feather with a small ball attached and ofcourse the string to put in your CP. <.< I think I wrote in the letter that feather-chan brings happiness. I hope it do. I’ll add it to my wishlist then. Please make feather-chan’s colorful vibrant color take away the darkness in Jei-kun’s life. Hope he’ll convert from black-ism to purple-ism but that’s not going to happen anyday soon =P

So yeah. Is a feather thing weird as a gift? I don’t know. My mom is usually happy with normal gifts such as the Penguin I gave her so no problem. But for a friend? @.@ I have no ideas @.@ But I do get the feeling of searching something for that person. You know. Roaming around finding that something for the person you’re buying a gift for. And I want moar XP Which reminds me. I didn’t recieved anything good last. Uh. Any occasion. Actually why should I on my birthday unless its one of those years where its a major year or something. Xmas? No one would care =p I recieved this heartless and just a freebee bag from Rishi. That doesn’t count as a gift. =P I believe a gift is something came from the heart. You don’t give a gift just because it’s an occasion to do so. If you truely want to give something and stuff, thats a gift. For me. =p Yeah, I’m picky. Meh, so yea. But finding a gift is kinda hard. You know. Will he like this? Will she take this? Will it eat this? And so on. Meh. But that’s probably it. Finding the gift is what makes the gift a gift. @.@ Silly philosophies. W/e spelling, dont car. Yes car. So yea. But finding stuffs as a gift is really fun. Kinda XP Now who’s birthday is next? XP Speaking of gifts and heartless fake  gifts. XP I gave a bunch during christmas. I asked Jei-kun how’s Mug-chan that I gave him for xmas. It was hanging around his room and finding use from time to time. Yay~! Atleast the gift that i didn’t think was a gift became a gift for Jei-kun! =P And how about them… Wallet thingies? I believe raf hangs his around his bag. Dunno for Gian. Hey! I gave you two the same pair so you two has the… uh.. same pair. =P So be proud of having the same pair! James also uses the CD case I gave him, and it was perfect for him since he always doesn’t have a CD case. Same with Jan, or I think so =P. I think I"ll give him the same thing next year XP. Speaking of next year. Lemme try to find a gift for the people I’m giving to. Yea. Spend 5 hours searching for gifts, lets gao~! Gifts destined to be given to specific people, huh? Like feather-chan was destined to be given to Jei-kun, and how Mug-chan was not destined to but just randomly given to Jei-kun. =P So yeah. W/e.

Meh. Last four days is hael. Let’s dine in hell! Or so as Leonidas says. =P So on monday, full of long tests. Next days is ofcourse exams. Atleast, on the last day, I hope we be playin DotA, next day we going out with the remnants of a-q/ORC, and on saturday, badminton practice as a finale of this busy week. Not to mention projects too. Gawsh, Shop/Tech is really becoming a heavy burden for me. <.<

W/e. Nice post overall, I think. Like the gift parts much =P 

I won’t be writing long. Tomorrow will be the last day everyone will see Arvin in the classroom. And Saturday will be the last day most CTs will see him. Farewell. I can only say that word to him. For I know, everyone. From Arnaldo to Villaflor. Okay, that’s exagerrating, probably. But atleast, those who were atleast close to him some how. Feel the same way as I do, as he does. Sadness. Who cares about patriotism and that crap? All we know is our friend is leaving. That’s plain and simple. There is a time for depart for most people you meet in life. But why would he be one of those who’ll leave earlier? Why not the other people who’s just useless and annoying. They’re more suitable to leave. Whatever. Arvin. A weird, silent guy. Funny too. And don’t forget kinda weird too. =P Forget? Yeah. Perhaps I would, one day after 10 years. But despite forgetting his name, I’ll still remember that guy who sat to my upper-right in the last quarter of my 3rd year life. That guy I only stood once or so together in DotA. That guy who shared the same beliefs in DotA with me: Sange and Yasha sucks, from the very start. I don’t have a lot of memories with him as much as everyone else does. But this small memories. Will forever be with me now. Arvin. Farewell. May you be as safe as always, whereever you may arrive. But most of all… May you still be the same when perhaps, one day. We meet again. Tomorrow. I hope you’ll have your last days in Don Bosco fun. On Saturday. I hope you have your last day with CT much fun. Sadness. Everyone’s smiling, but in the end, I know everyone felt this emotion atleast. Arvin. Farewell? I’ve kept on saying that. But I’ve decided. The last words to say is, See ya~! For it isn’t entirely impossible to see him again. Our paths will cross again. And until that, for now, I’ll leave you with those two words. See ya, Arvin~…

Hands down Illya loss by 50 points. I actually knew this around Algeb time. Who cares why. She just loss. Imouto ftl =(

Oh. And Irvin sucks. You need to die badly pl0x